the universe is standing still
by Perspeculi
Summary: She'd lost her one constant in life and yet Asgard went on as it always had. It seemed wrong, somehow. As if the entire world should stop, because hers had. Sigyn, Loki/Sigyn, post-movie.


Sigyn felt it before the shockwave actually hit, the explosion of energy and magic on the other side of Asgard. It was so powerful it knocked the air from her lungs and brought her to her knees, pain flaring whitehot behind her eyes. She may have even shrieked; she couldn't tell, not with the frenzy of the energy and the agony it was causing her.

Slowly it dispersed, leaving her shaking and feeling almost frayed. After a long moment she slowly managed to hoist herself back up, standing on weak legs that she feared would go out from underneath her at any second. Vaguely she realized she was breathing hard, trying to steady herself somehow, and numbly she reached out for a wall to lean on. The metal was too cold against her flushed face, but she could not move away.

As the pain faded, slowly but surely, she began to try to work out what it could have been. Sigyn couldn't help the shiver of fear that ran through her and swallowed hard at the sinking feeling in her stomach. Something was horribly wrong.

A gasp from behind her made her try to turn around to see who it was, but Sigyn found she could not quite yet. "My lady!" exclaimed a familiar voice, and a moment later her servant Dagný had an arm around Sigyn, steadying her. "What happened? Are you well?"

"The explosion," Sigyn managed. "A lot of magic."

"Oh," Dagný said uncertainly. "What can I do for you, my lady?"

"Nothing," Sigyn said, pushing off the wall gently. She swayed for a moment until Dagný steadied her. "Need to go and find Loki."

Dagný hesitated. "I'm not certain that's a good decision, my lady. You look ready to pass out. Your face is whiter than snow. You should stay inside; who knows what that explosion could have been?"

"I'm fine, truly," Sigyn lied, waving Dagný off. "I'm needed elsewhere. You go a-and find the other servants and make sure everyone stays safe. Thank you, Dagný." She straightened her posture and forced herself to walk briskly away down the hall, leaving the servant behind her. She wasn't entirely certain she could use magic just yet, leaving her unable to teleport, which left her walking to Gladsheim. It was a short distance away, but with how weak she felt it may as well have been on Midgard, it seemed.

It was likely a bad idea, going out into the city when she didn't really know what had caused the explosion. Although she was starting to get an idea. Now that she was beginning to think more clearly, Sigyn realized the energy felt the same as the energy given off the Bifrost, the few times she had traveled by it. Except intensified-she'd felt it slowly building for a few minutes before it finally burst, all of it pouring out at once on the edge of Asgard. She could still feel remnants of it in the air, vibrating and electric.

Something was very wrong. With another shiver Sigyn carefully snuck out of her home and began making her way to the palace. Outside, it was almost too quiet compared to the frenzy of the past few minutes. However as she got closer to Gladsheim, groups of Einherjar began to break the silence, their calls to arms echoing throughout the wide space. She avoided them as much as she could but it got harder the closer she got to the palace.

"Lady Sigyn!"

She stopped short and cursed under her breath at the familiar voice. Not _who I wish to see right now,_ Sigyn thought. She continued on her way hurriedly, hoping to lose him in the crowds of Einherjar, but footsteps followed closely behind her until Theoric appeared at her side.

"Lady Sigyn, you should not be out wandering around," he said sternly. She immediately bristled at his tone, hating how he treated her as if she were a child. "Did you not hear the explosion? It is unsafe for you to be walking outside right now. It could be the Jotnar-"

"Yes, I heard the explosion," Sigyn snapped. "I daresay I heard it far more than you. I know what I'm doing," she told her unwanted suitor. "Please leave me be and return to your duties."

Theoric faltered for a moment, brown eyes widening in surprise, before he recomposed himself and joined her side again. "Lady Sigyn, I really must insist that you return to your home and stay with your Mother until this threat is over."

"No."

He grabbed her wrist tightly, forcing her to turn to face him. "Please do not make me carry you back there myself," Theoric said.

"How _dare_ you," Sigyn said, hissing furiously. The urge to hit him with a curse rose up in her and she almost did it, the incantation in her mind. At the last moment she held herself back. However she could not be certain she'd be so controlled if he truly did force her back home. "Let go of me now. I promise you that if you put me over your shoulder and carry me back home, you will live to sorely regret it. I am needed in the palace and no one is keeping me from there. Now let _go_," she said, forcing her wrist free of his grip and quickly escaping.

"Sigyn!" Theoric's voice faded as she moved further away until finally the distance and the voices of the other Einherjar drowned him out completely. She rubbed her wrist and scowled, then pushed aside all thought of Theoric as she made her way into Gladsheim.

Inside it was chaos; servants scrambled about, frantic and worried, as Einherjar tried to instill some order. Their calls were lost under the voices of the servants and others as they hurried about. She cringed as their voices seemed to hit the dull ache that remained in her head from the explosion. Sigyn tried to manage her way through the crowd until finally, after being shoved too many times to count, she decided to give up on forcing her way through. She managed to weave a spell together, the effort making her grit her teeth, and then the roar of people around her vanished as did her surroundings, only to be replaced by more yells echoing throughout the throne room.

She'd teleported to the sidelines, where it was relatively empty, the crowd being more around the throne. She took the moment to see who was present. Sif and the Warriors Three, she saw. And Frigga, standing at the top of the steps, calmly but firmly trying to put the crowd into order.

Sigyn walked over quickly, pushing past the others until she came to stand by Frigga's side. "My Queen," she said, briefly bowing.

"Sigyn," Frigga said, looking surprised. A flash of something else crossed the Queen's face, gone so fast Sigyn could not quite catch it. But it was something. And it left her with a bad feeling, her vague sense of unease growing. The Queen gave her a brief nod before turning back to the crowd. "Please, everyone, calm yourselves and I will explain as best I can."

Her voice carried over the din of the people but still they did not fall silent. It was a testament to how panicked they were that they did not obey their Queen. Normally, Sigyn knew, Frigga could calm her subjects with ease. That was not the case now.

"-What was the explosion-"

"-It came from the Bifrost, I saw it-"

"-Are the Jotnar attacking Asgard?-"

Frigga shifted just imperciptibly at the last question that reached them, almost too slight for Sigyn to have caught, but catch it she did. The sinking feeling in her stomach worsened. _How could they have found a way into Asgard?_ Sigyn wondered. _Again?_

"Silence."

Sigyn jumped, torn out of her thoughts by the voice of the Allfather that echoed around them. The crowd fell into a stunned silence as they all turned to look at him. He was walking briskly toward the crowd, Thor following shortly behind him. _Thor is back from his banishment?_ Sigyn thought. Despite her confusion she breathed a small sigh of relief at seeing him unharmed. She waited for Loki to appear shortly behind him, as he always did, but as the Allfather and Thor got closer and Loki still did not appear, her heart sank deeper.

Only when Thor got close enough for her to see his face did she begin to imagine the worst. He'd been _crying_, and though he was obviously trying to keep his face expressionless, she could see the despair in it. The Allfather was as hard to read as ever, but she thought she saw a hint of sadness about him as well. As Thor and the Allfather reached them, everyone bowed, still silent, but the panicked energy and questions lingered in the air.

"There is no longer any need to panic," the Allfather said calmly. "The threat has been removed." Out of the corner of her eye, Sigyn saw Sif and the Warriors Three exchange looks, and Thor's gaze went down to the floor momentarily. "Yes, the Jotnar attempted an attack on Asgard. Laufey attempted to kill me while I was in the Odinsleep. My son, Loki-" Was that a catch in his voice? Sigyn swallowed hard, trying to push down her rising panic. "He defeated Laufey before he could succeed and rode out to stop the attack."

There was a lie there. Sigyn could feel it, a sour chord being struck in an otherwise clear song. She glanced sharply at the others, studying each. Sif kept her face carefully blank-too careful. Hogun, as usual, showed no emotion on his face. Fandral and Volstagg glanced at each other uncomfortably. Frigga stood beside Thor, one arm around his shoulders and a hand resting on one. She too kept her face blank, but Sigyn recalled the flash of emotion she'd seen a few moments earlier and realized Frigga knew more than she was letting on.

"Thor joined his side and together they were able to keep the Jotnar from entering Asgard." Another lie, this one deeper than the last. "But..." the Allfather paused painfully and Sigyn's heart skipped a beat, fearing what he would say next, knowing what he would say next but wishing she were wrong. "Loki lost his life in the battle."

It was like a punch to the middle, or as if the ground underneath her suddenly disappeared, leaving her to fall into nothingness. Far more agonizing than the rush of magic just a few minutes before. The Allfather's words rang true, but she didn't-_could not_-believe it.

"What?" she said numbly, quietly, but the Allfather still heard her.

He met her gaze steadily and she hated him for it, how unaffected he appeared, though she knew it was silly because of course he was affected. "Loki is dead."

Everything else faded away. Vaguely she was aware of a hushed murmur sweeping through the crowd as they took in the news, of Frigga putting a hand to her mouth in an attempt to hold herself together. Of Thor hiding his face behind his hand, to hide the tears that must surely be forming. Sigyn had no such inhibitions. She wept, openly and without shame, because Loki was dead, and damn if she was going to care what the others thought of her when the most important person in the Nine Realms was lost to her.

_He's dead,_ she thought, repeating it in her mind like a verse from a rhyme. _Loki's dead._ The more she thought it, the less believable it seemed, because how could he be dead? He seemed an integral part of the Nine Realms, of her life, that for him to simply be _dead_ without some part of the universe dying with him seemed impossible to her. And yet here she was, listening to the Allfather announce his death, his bravery in his last battle, and she wanted to scream at him to be silent. To say no more, because she could not think of what else there could possibly be left to say.

Loki was dead. Nothing else mattered but that. She'd lost her one constant in life, and yet Asgard seemed to be going on as it always had. It seemed wrong, somehow. As if the entire world should stop because hers had.

"The Jotnar must pay for this," someone in the crowd shouted, somewhat bringing Sigyn out of her thoughts. There was a roar of agreement, so loud it vibrated in her bones, until the Allfather held up a hand and all went silent.

"Jotunheim is lost to us," he said. "As are the rest of the Nine Realms. The Bifrost was destroyed in the battle and it cannot be salvaged. We are cut off from the other worlds, and they to us."

Sigyn could not find it in her to care. Her legs felt close to collapsing underneath her again and a wail was threatening to claw out of her throat. Without a word she turned and quickly walked away from the crowd, from the Allfather, and soon broke out into a run.

She ran without stopping, without slowing, until before she realized it she had made her way to the sitting room she and Loki had often used to study magic together. It allowed them to look out over Asgard and the cosmos while they studied, and where she would normally see Observatory far off at the very edge of Asgard, there was nothing. Somehow, seeing the emptiness there made it real.

Loki was dead.

Sigyn fell to her knees and the wail escaped her, and there she stayed until long after her sobbing had ceased.

Thor found her later, curled up with her knees held to her chest, her gaze to the floor. She was vaguely aware of his footsteps before he appeared in her field of vision, and still she did not react even when he sat down next to her.

After a long silence he spoke up. "Your Mother and Theoric are looking for you. Your Mother is panicked, and-"

"Thor," she said quietly, and still he fell silent. "It doesn't matter."

The heavy silence returned. Thor stayed where he was and Sigyn did not turn to look at him. Then he hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her, and tears sprang back to her eyes again. Without thinking or caring much, she turned and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. Thor stilled in surprise before hugging her back.

"I'm sorry, Thor," she whispered, the sound muffled. "I'm so sorry."

He was quiet a moment before saying, "I am sorry too, Sigyn."

They stayed like that, both losing track of time, trying to find some solace in their grief, though knowing such a thing was impossible when the person they loved so dearly was gone.


End file.
